Funny sayings for Business Intelligence and …

Business Intelligence JOB

Confidence on job is first thing – and second – and third.

Keep on things that you know best. Trees that move grow slowly.

When need to make a cut convince other side that you are a surgeon.

Give yourself time, time even a straw transforms into milk.

Do not throw away bucket unless you’ve checked that new bucket holds the water.

Preparation is mother of good fortune.

Nothing is impossible to man that does not have to do it alone.

Experience is having something after it is not needed any more.

In every company exist employee knowing everything. Fire him immediately.

Make complicated plans according to needs, but orders must be simple.

In any kind of construction work nothing is possible to calculate on Friday after 14:40.

After adding two weeks for unexpected delays, add additional two for not expected unexpected delays.

If everybody agrees upon something, it’s definitely wrong.

Laughing when everything is going wrong means you’ve found victim to be blamed.

Some bosses are like clouds. When they disappear day is beautiful.

Till boss acts like I’m earning too much I’m acting to work a lot.

 Give problem to lazy employees, they always find easiest solution.

Some mistakes are so funny; it’s pity not to repeat them.

Perhaps work will not kill me. But why to risk.

Nobody listens until you make mistake.

Be concerned for problem, not for critics.

Every problem has a gift in hand for you.

Fastest way to success is to act like playing at somebody’s rules but in fact silently act according to own rules.

Good opportunities are usually masked like heavy job, that’s why most people do not recognize them.

Best way to make job is without thinking who will get credit for it.

MONEY

 Carefully open mouth and valet.

 One seed can not fill bag but can help.

Money is always welcome even in dirty bag.

Money does not buy fortune but make poverty easier.

Being rich is finally achieved in moment of having something that money cannot buy. 

 Person having luck in cards has lot of money.

 Everybody has a plan how to earn a lot of money that does not function.

 I’d like to live like a bagger full of money.

 Always borrow money from pessimist. He doesn’t expect it back.

WISDOM

 After a victory sharp a knife.

 Wrong decision usually seams more reasonable.

If you have enough time nothing’s going to happen.

Good cure always taste bitter.

Big drum can be heard well only from distance.

Fired arrow never returns back.

1000 hits are needed for nailing the nail in the dark.

Need breaks laws.

 Before going to trip talk with elders, on return ask kids for news.

 Never borrow a cup from urologist.

 Cannot fall from floor.

You’ll always find something on a last place your looking at.

There is always something that is a little bit worse.

Chance is always on a side of careful.

 Never think of future – everything comes so quickly.

Honesty is the first chapter in a book of wisdom.

We can not say that every mistake is stupid.

If you want to see what child can do, give him nothing.

You can never be enough careful in choosing enemies.

Knowing soldier can happen only when he gets promoted.

Why do I have to go into life since nobody survived?

Having a non smoking department in restaurant is same as having corner for pissing in pool.

If you have one black and one brown boot there is a great chance that same pair is at home.

 When your work talks don’t interrupt it with talk.

 We are being born naked, being plashed on buttocks … and then it becomes worse.

 Everything is being paid, everything returns, but never on time.

Being reasonable in moment of anger, you’ll avoid 100 sad days.

All nerving on others, might lead to better self understanding.

 Statistic is like bath – what you see is sugestive, but most important thing is hidden.

 Wise man takes everything with him.

 Without laughter we would go nuts.

Damaged vesses never breakes.

 It’s hard to be nostalgic with memory problem.

Attorney’s hands are always in anothers pocket.

Big thirst. Being so thirsty to even lick fog.

Who pays more, has more rights.

BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE WISDOM

 Can not sneeze with open eyes.

Problem in resisting to temptation is in that temptation might never appear again.  

 With aging nothing gets better.

Don’t ask a barber do you need shaving and haircut.

 Man learned from history that mankind learned nothing from history.

 Weight of bag raises proportionaly with weight of eaten food. With lack of food bag weight will still raise.

FRIENDS

Trip to the friend’s winery is never too long.

Fellow that does no mistakes usually does nothing.

Let enemy speak and when he finish let him speak even more.

From fifteen flattering friends, fourteen surely lies.

 Until you ask for help all people are good.

I’d like that people having problems with communication stop to talk.

Often come to fellow’s winery because weeds grow like crazy on a path.

Be afraid of rotten so called friend more than of mad animal, animal hurts body but “friend” hurts soul.

If you help fellow in trouble and he’ll remember you once again in new trouble.

 Even honest man can be bought but you’ll have to pay highly.

 If you want someone else’s help, stay out of trouble.

 Find time for friends, otherwise they’ll be lost in time.

 Friend of my friend is my friend. Friend of my female friend is my enemy.

It’s easier to forgive to enemy then to a good friend.

ANIMALS

Never tie a dog with pig intestines.

Silent waters might hide sharks.

Dog for sale, like kids and eats everything.

 Flea in cabbage is better then cabbage without a meat.

 Many would like to go fishing but few take bates.

 Let the dogs sleep unless you have a lion on a leash.

 Crow that imitates seagull drowns.

Eagle does not hunt fleas.

Never stand between the dog and tree.

If you did not took a stick, calm the dog with the bread.

Chicken is way how egg multiplies.

Female mosquitoes have teeth.

Ducks sounds do not produce echo.

Honor day after the sunset, musket after the battle, and dog always.

If you feed hungry dog, he’ll not bite you.

 Flies are best journalists, immediately found if something smells.

Campers are natural way of feeding mosquitoes.